I'm asking myself tonight why the hell I can't express my emotions (my rage) without having had a few drinks...?
Speaking to the ex tonight I lost control. He was trying to defend the actions of my last housemate (his business partner). This man stole from me (under ex's direction).
Now I like to think of myself as a reasonable person, that is; a person who uses reason to come to conclusions; and as such seek the counsel of my friends when making judgements about these things. My friends have all supported my notion that stealing from housemates is a bad thing; you should be able to trust those that you reside with. Why then does my ex believes that he can persuade me otherwise? Said ex's arguing skills are astounding but this pushes reason a little too far.
I have put up with ex's assertions that this behaviour may be in some way excusable many times in the past. However, tonight, having had a few glasses of wine I let my real opinions fill the air like a swarm of angry bees.
See the thing is; ex takes the moral high ground when I do something 'wrong' and yet will use every conceivable argument to justify his own behaviour any time that he wants to act like a complete arsehole.
Perhaps if I found a way to express my feelings about these things without the assistance of alcohol I'd be able to do so without it coming out in a torrent of rage. I'm so concentrated on staying 'in control' when I'm sober that I negate my true feelings in order to keep calm - to keep the peace.
I think I'll file this under the 'needs more work' section.