Tuesday, 22 September 2009


Well the meeting went well. Thanks for your messages of support. I think it will be between me and another dealer and I should know within the next two weeks so keep everything crossed for me until then please!

I still haven't quite got over the representative from our partner company (who A also asked to mentor me) telling me that if I can't have a relationship without arguing then I have issues that I may need some 'help' to work out. Erm.. Thanks love - I need your help to sell into the corporate market. If I want relationship advice I'll write to Dear Deirdre.

I can't understand why so many people in my work-life are so obsessed with me finding a man. Yeah it'd be nice, but I'm not losing any sleep over it so why should they? I keep getting people telling me that it would 'stabilise' me. I'm not unstable! Piss off!

Had a good chat with A after the meeting too; there are lots of opportunities presenting themselves at work at the moment and I think I just have to bide my time and hopefully one that fits me will come along. Or - they'll just keep promoting my colleagues.

Monday, 21 September 2009


I've just come back from a run so I thought I'd knock out a quick post whilst the endorphins are still zipping about in my system; it's going to be a positive one.

Right, number a) I am going to be doing a presentation tomorrow that could be worth £38k. That would wipe the floor with James for the year. It's more that his accumulated profit so far. Fingers crossed guys.

Number b) I must say that I'm looking pretty good at the moment. My resolution when I came back from India was to start taking more care over my appearance and I have to say it's making me feel much better. Plus all the gym sessions and running means I'm slimmer and fitter than ever. Booyah!

Number c) If I do get this deal it would pay off the remainder of my debt in one go. Whoop!

Number d) I had a lovely weekend with my three favorite women in the world; my sister, my mum and my niece.

Life is not so bad; frustrating at times, but not so bad.

Sunday, 20 September 2009

Saturation point.

I'll give you a brief overview of what has happened over the last week;

We have a new Ops Manager, as I may have mentioned. He's very flirty with all of the women and very much the diplomat. We have worked together on various different projects and I thought we were getting on really well.

The week before last, on a Friday I had a long conversation with A where we ironed out some of our differences (which is good) but he also dropped a bit of a bomb-shell which is that the Ops Manager was recommending my colleague, James, for promotion into the Sales Manager's role.

To make things clear to you guys, this is not a job that I want. I can't be bothered with the stress of being promoted above my colleagues. It's hard enough just to get on with them let alone having to manage them and I know that they'd be so bitter about it that they'd make it as hard as possible. I know that this is the role that A sees me in and maybe I'd do it within a different company as he's suggested before (like if he bought a company and I'd have new staff to manage) but this particular role? No thanks.

But I don't want James as my boss either. I know, I know... I sound like I'm being bitter but I can't help it. He's not even a team player let alone a people manager. He's lied and cheated and manipulated to get leads from management. He also makes a big thing about only working part time hours etc and as I said in my previous post, he's the one who has his work phone switched off when they track us on a Friday afternoon. James and I don't get on. How am I going to cope with having him telling me what to do?

So it's not set in stone (or so A told me) but the Ops Manager made the suggestion to A (Managing Director) and the Chairman and came straight out of the meeting and called James to tell him what he was recommending. James then called A to tell him how pleased he was. So how can A then say that it's not going to happen without undermining the Ops Manager? He can't. Clever Ops Manager.

The other tit bit of info that A gave me was that when he was chatting to the Ops Manager about me, when he suggested me for management the Ops manager winced. Can you believe that?

So in an endeavor to find out what the fudge is going on in this guy's head I asked to see both him and A to talk about my prospects within the organisation and the proposed new structure of the business. I went along with some great ideas for a new role for someone (i.e. me) to manage the relationship between our company and the business partner companies - the other companies who's products we sell. Whilst in the meeting A repeatedly tried (by taking various hypothetical positions out of the equations) to make me say that I wanted the sales manager's role which eventually I did, but like; 'if there was no other way I could move up within the company then yes, I would go for the sales manager role'. I then turned to the Ops Manager and said 'do you think that I would be good in a manager's role' and he replied; 'I don't know'.

Now I'm not being funny but if you thought that someone was so unsuitable for a role that when someone asks for your opinion you wince, surely you should have some kind of feedback as to why? The fact that he said 'I don't know' makes me think that he is not bothered about my development at all. So maybe if he'd have said, 'I think that you'd be more suited to....' or 'I think you have some areas to work on first, such as....' I'd think, OK, fair enough. I could work with that. But he didn't.

Since all this started I've had advice from A, and H, and my mum and just about everyone else and I have now reached saturation point. I'm exhausted by it. I'm just going to get my head down for a while and do my job. I'm not sure what to do about the job hunt either - maybe I should wait a while and see how the dust settles. I know that I'll have to apply for this position whether I want it or not so maybe I'll get something else out of it.

I can't help thinking that one of the reasons that the Ops Manager didn't put me forward is that I don't respond to his flirting and that he can't manipulate me. I also think that he's a little sexist and finds strong women quite intimidating. I have my suspicions that he has a really tiny penis too.

Tuesday, 15 September 2009


So you work your ass off; take as much advice as you can from the powers that be, go above and beyond the call of duty, make sure you’re prepared for every meeting, state your intentions, let them all know how ambitious you are and help to improve the procedures within the company. You do all this and still self generate all of your own sales and come joint 1st on the league table.

He works part time hours on a full time contract. He states this in front of you and your colleagues on a regular basis, he doesn’t work on Fridays. He talks about sex openly and crudely in front of colleagues and business associates alike. When the company decides to track everyone, he’s the one with his phone switched off. He is given handed sales leads to convert and comes joint 1st on the league table.

So when it comes down to it; who gets offered a promotion?

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

100th Post!!

Is it too much to be looking for a new job and love at the same time? Probably. Can I sustain that level of rejection? Hmmm... Not sure.

I'm fed up with work. I'm fed up with busting my ass for sales only to have all the other elements involved fuck it all up at the last minute and I'm fed up of getting crap commission so I'm looking for a job. Not the best time though is it? Ah well - we'll see what happens.

On the love front; I messaged two blokes and they didn't message me back. What's all that about? I dunno - no wonder us women wait for the blokes to make the first move. But hey, I feel your pain fellas - you guys are expected to just get used to the rejection.

I'm also fed up of A not being able to keep his emotions in check. This is where everyone gets to have a little gloat cos they told me that my relationship with him would cause me problems. He needs to get his ass to Vipassana - that's where I learned to rationalise my emotions.

I'll let you know how it goes. Happy 100th my lovelies. x