Thursday 21 February 2008

Does this work?

I'm trying to post from my BlackBerry so I hope this works.

Hmm... What have I been up to? Well I won a bottle of champagne at work so I drank that last night and as a result I have a bloody awful hangover. It was nice though. Reminded me of the good old days. I went out for dinner with my boss last night and he insisted on having a stupid soppy look on his face. I told him to sort himself out and that if he didn't stop it we could no longer have contact outside of work. I wish he didn't fancy me.

Thursday 7 February 2008

Last one tonight I promise!

Married men; they're alright for a while and then they get all sentimental... (about their wives, not me) All I really want is a man who's not totally self absorbed.

However; recently I've realised that the only reason married men don't appear self absorbed is that they're emotionally absorbed elsewhere (i.e. with their wives/children/pets). They're probably still making the wife think about what's best for him.

If I have to have a bloke then I want one who gives me empathy, encouragement and reassurance. I give these without even having to think about it... Are there men who do that? These days I've just been settling for those who don't try to inhibit my way of life... Human relations present so many complex emotions! Though I suppose if it were less emotional it would be less interesting.

Remember this - I'm writing it here so I do.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."

Richard David Bach

Porn and Fraud

Had a new experience today; I think I'll call it 'porn prejudice'.

I've only just realised that some dodgy internet company has been taking money out of my account regularly. I called my bank as I'm certain that I haven't agreed to any kind of subscription charges (I haven't been doing much surfing in recent months) and asked them to stop the company from taking money from my account. I was informed at this point that the company was an 'adult website' and that I may have agreed to subscription charges. They gave me a number to call to clarify what was happening.

I called the number - it wasn't in service so I called my bank back and asked them to stop the payment. The woman on the end of the phone asked me (in a snotty tone) whether I knew what kind of site this was relating to. Er, yeah - I was told that the first time round... Just because I visit 'adult' sites does that mean that those sites have carte blanche to rip me off?! Yeah, alright bank lady. Any chance I could borrow your twin set?

Tuesday 5 February 2008

Sick and tired.

Keeping a positive attitude up when you're not predisposed towards it is very difficult.

Whilst I must confess that much of what I set out to achieve throughout January I have accomplished; I still have some major issues that it seems the society in which I live is unwilling to lend a hand with. I'm speaking mainly of my debts - the majority of which I acquired educating myself. I'm reading a self help book at the moment that says that the statement 'the rich get richer and the poor get poorer' is a fallacy but at the moment I'm not sure that I agree. I've been trying to survive on my basic wage (about £18k) for the last 6 months and it's practically impossible when you're accustomed to earning - and have budgeted for earning - more than double that. The more money I try to borrow to cover my outgoings, the more I fall behind, the more I can't afford to fix the problem. What are you supposed to do when your incomings fall £300 short of your outgoings? I can't stomach the idea of changing my lifestyle drastically (i.e. moving out of my flat into something more 'affordable') as I know that long term I can afford to live this way - my financial problems are a short term issue. The bank, however, are not so convinced (though they are thieving scum who think that £35 is a reasonable sum to charge for sending a letter).

My manager compared me today to a little duck - everything looks OK on the surface but under the water my legs are going like fuck to keep me swimming against the current. How true!

I'm sure that somewhere along this line a mysterious benefactor is supposed to step in.

There are worse things that could be happening though. I'm healthy and so is my family. No matter how skint I get they can't take away my education. My cat loves me and I've got all my limbs... I might be getting the hang of this positive thinking!