And another thing...

After I'd snapped at him on the phone and told him that he 'needed to sort himself out because his doom and gloom attitude wasn't helping the team' I felt guilty - so I text him asking him if he was OK. He replied 'Yeah OK really, just used to having loads of cash, a house, a good business, girlfriend or wife to be planning, and I'm under loads of pressure that's all, you OK?'

OK - so his life isn't exactly peachy at the moment but for God's sake I've been living off scrambled egg on toast for the last three weeks. The 'girlfriend or wife to be planning' makes me feel like I'm chopped liver, and unfortunately I haven't got a two hundred and eighty thousand pound house to sell to get me out of the sh*t. No - as usual, I only have myself to rely on and no savings or assets to back me up.

I'm f*cking starving hungry. I can't afford to smoke, drink, or take drugs to try and distract myself and on top of all this I've got to simultaneously try to keep the business afloat (whilst receiving no recognition) and think about finding another job in case the worst happens. I'll go before the rest of them do - I can assure you of that.