Friday 19 September 2008

Fucking bollocks.

Ohhhhh.... I tried it again; I tried internet dating.

So first I went on DatingDirect.com and for some reason as I was filling out my details I had a feeling of deja vu... Particularly when it said 'email address already in use'. Against my better judgment I ignored my misgivings and carried on with the process. Now I'm not being tight; I'm just a bit skint at the moment, but I didn't actually want to pay for my next date really. I also didn't want to have to pay to got through the pain and disappointment of meeting a load of retards on t'internet again.

So; I spent the best part of 45 minutes sorting out my profile, deciding whether I wanted a black, religious man with green eyes and no kids or a white, bilingual man who lived with his parents... Fantastic; boring bit out of the way... lets go shopping! So, after the first five pages I actually found someone I thought I wanted to know more about so I click to email and... They wanted £60 off me for six month's subscription. Robbing bastards. There's no way that I could take six months of internet dating. I'd go out of my mind. Normal dating is bad enough; I already despair at the lack of suitable men in the world; this serves only to compound that despair by broadening my horizon (do you get the impression that I may be entering into this with the wrong attitude?) I may consider paying for one month when I get paid but that has the escalated cost of £22.40...

After having the carrot dangled in front of my donkey face and then whisked away by my inability to weather the credit crunch I tried going on a free dating site. I must admit that the site appeared a little tacky but I thought; what the hell - it's only costing me time! I filled out the necessary details again, posted my photo and left my account to be approved. Returning from work the following day I opened Outlook to find 21 new messages from freedating.com.... A couple to let me know that my profile/photo had been approved - the rest notifications of messages that I had received. Good start!

So I go to the site, click on the first message; 'hi, how are you?' Boring. Next. 'Hi, how you doing?' Oh no. 'Hi, how r u?' Can't even be bothered to write properly.... Argh! And on it went - all of them the same lazy, uninspired question. The thought of staying on there and sifting through this every day just made me feel so irritated that I simply deleted my account. Perhaps the love of my life had sent me one of those messages but I just can't envision me saying to my grandchildren 'your grandfather just bowled me over when he sent me a message on the internet saying 'hi, how r u?' Nope.

I passed an advert whilst driving to an appointment today for sugardaddy.com. My goodness! What would that be like I wonder? Would the conversation be more interesting? How would it work? Would you get them to pay your subscription? Or would that be too much too early? Do you think Rod Stewart is on it? I daren't check it out... I can just imagine all these aspiring Michael Douglas's getting all excited about the prospect of meeting some Sugar Babies. Eeew.


7 comments:

Mr Grim said...

Hai, ow ar yoo? I liek ur profil, u look rly kayoote!!!!11!
Wanna m33t up n av a drnk???????

*felates shotgun to remove that vile stain from his memory*

Lazy typists, interweb uzerz. Ugh. I'm aware I use shortcuts like 'thru' 'n' ''cause' but there is no excuse for leet. I want to carve 133T onto a baseball bat n smack the lil feckers with it just so they know how it feels to read the sodding thing.
/end rant

Free internet dating? What is this heresy of which you speak? *signs up* >.>
*maybe*
<.<
I bet you'd get a few ppl (amg where did ppl come from? *kills self*) pay your subscription on suggardaddy, and potentially a few begging you to call them daddy too ^_^
*cups hand to ear*
Ahh the sound of a younger mind breaking - it always reminds me when I drop ice cubes into a glass of cola...

*footnote: Word just threw a fit when I pasted this into it for spell check. I've not seen that much red since I last played Doom3*

La BĂȘte said...

I love the idea of getting the men on Sugar Daddy to pay your subscription. That is exactly what should happen.

Someone recommended a dating site to me which was actually quite good. What was it called? Bugger. Hold on. Ah, yes. OKCupid, that's it. Worth a try maybe? Or have you completely given up now?

The Princess said...

I'm willing to check it out on a recommendation... I'll let you know how I get on.

The Princess said...

Just got this in a private chat message on OK Cupid?

'can i be your online slave sexy godesshi sexy godess, i have a thing for women in control and telling me what to do for a change ,i aslo have another secret which i will tell you if i can trust you , iam looking for an online mistress to give me orders and teach me to be her slave, i will send pics get on cam write lines whatever mistress wants ,, and to make sure i do as you say i can give you my 2 of my female co workers emails, to make sure i do as you say, this would JUST BE FOR FUN AND ..UNDERSTOOD YOU NEVER USE THEM .ONLY IF YOU CAN REASURE ME THAT THIS STAYS BETWEEN US WILL I GIVE YOU THEM , if you want to be my online mistress and me your slave then ad ME AT MY MESSENGER'

La BĂȘte said...

I told you it was good.

The Princess said...

I can't even think of what to do with myself let alone think of things for someone else to do...

I don't think I'd make a very good Mistress. I'd spend all my time wondering whether I was being demanding enough and I think that misses the point.

Mr Grim said...

So... Much... Innuendo... Must... Bite... Tongue...

*Does so*
*Chokes on blood*
*Dies*

And that sums up my weekend, but yay! Seems your having more fun than I have :)

Also (and forgive me for this) *squeels like a fangirl @ la bete's posts*