Monday, 5 April 2010

Doesn't Anyone Want to Fall In Love Anymore?

I went out in town the other day only to find myself drowning in a sea of naked flesh. All of the young women displaying the attributes that God had blessed them with in the vain hope that a man may bless her with his attention for the evening. The whole experience made me feel sad for womankind. Like somehow the efforts of our fore-mothers had gone to waste because despite Germaine Greer's attempts to get us out from behind vacuum cleaners all women had done was use their liberation to become nothing more than animated blow up dolls... the media re-boxing us from our category of 'wife and mother' and into a new category of 'sex object'. A different kind of sucking.

It's the media who champion Katie Price as the new-age feminist when all she really does is pander to men's desires. Despite the wealth, is this woman really empowered? Has she really found 'happiness'?

As much as it may make me sound like a dried up old spinster I mainly blame the women for where we are now. I speak to young men all the time and their attitude is that I should be grateful that they are showing an interest in me, despite the fact that they have nothing to offer in the way of intellectual engagement, morals, wealth, health or general ability in anything. It is the women who have allowed themselves to become objects. It is the women who have championed this detached sexuality; the ideal of looking like a barbie doll, all pneumatic breasts and flawless brows - God help you if you look like you've had some kind of life experience... that would be so UGLY.

I would welcome the opportunity to meet someone, in a bar, who is under 30, who would actually be interested in getting to know someone new. Not because she is wearing a tiny boob tube or a ridiculously short skirt but just for the sake of learning something/someone new. For the sake of being interested in humankind.

Being an independent, empowered woman is not about how many people you can have sex with. It's not about becoming some manifestation of the ideals projected by a lads' mag, it's about looking in the mirror and saying 'this is me, my natural beauty' and being confident that you are attractive.

I see so many women offering their bodies up; there is no need for personality. And so many men accept this as the natural order. Personality comes nowhere, is non-essential. What ever happened to 'boy meets girl'?

30 comments:

Mr Grim said...

In a society where Quicker Faster Now is the secret key phrase, where we are used to getting our shopping at quarter past midnight, next day delivery is a burden and TV now runs to our schedule as opposed to us sitting down at X time, it's only natural for the mask of pretence to get thinner. The mating game has become more 'you're cute, wanna fuck?' and less 'I want to make love to your mind, body and soul'. A casualty of convenience.

Mr Grim said...

And, to answer your main question; Yes. Yes, some of us still do.

RalphMariedeLargo said...

I am a Poet in need of a Muse. The qualifications are 1) Pretty female adult smile 2) jump up and down and shake Ur bootie every now and then and 3)read and comment upon my Poetry as posted in this virtual community. I selected Ur name at random... or was it? if U are qualified and interested then get back to me

maryroseary said...

Hi there! just surfin peoples blog and So i found yours..All you`ve said are Really true Some boys Only put their Attention to whose Hotter,whose sxier,popular,whose good in Bed without Going Deep into the emotions....

thnks! Godbless!

Anonymous said...

Just Finished reading your comment, and I am a male and agree with much of what you adressed, I have Two (2) Daughters tried to do a good Job of rearing them to be strong and respectful women, and I would be very sadden if the world and society oponion of them as Individual graded them as you just described.

Newbie said...

People don't go out clubbing or to certain bars to meet people they can have a meaningful relationship with - they go out for diversion and sex, and dress accordingly.

You meet people who are interested in your brains and personality in places where you are required to use your brain and personality - writing groups, sporting teams, anything where you share an interest and work together.

I'm really lucky in that I've managed to find a group of people in London who are interested in similar things to me and through them meet other cool people who care about more than just your bra size or what you look like.

Nicole MacDonald said...

I love your site title! It's nearly in theme with mine *lol* And when II was in my own super happy place loving being single - well that's when I tripped over my soul mate (literally).... And I go clubbing just for fun newbie - cause I love dancing *grin*

The Princess said...

Wow, I love the fact that this post has so many comments.

Newbie I love the authoritative tone but would have to say that for those of us who don't have a passion like yours and don't want to join societies and clubs (one of the recommendations that we singletons often get) there is little we can do to meet new people.

Just the other day I was out in town with my cousin and a guy gave her his number for me saying 'I like your friend' - he hadn't even spoken to me! The frustration is that we live in a society where so much emphasis is placed on image and appearance, be it the new iPhone or that girl/guy you saw in a club. Why should it be such an effort to find people who want to scratch the surface and find out what lies beneath?

Newbie said...

You're not interested in ANYTHING that you can do with a group of new people???

xxx

Newbie said...

You mean that there isn't ANYTHING that interests you that you could do with other people?

Mr Grim said...

So many answers... All of them will get me into trouble ^_^''

umbrella-in-the-sun said...

loved reading this and all associated comments <3

Brilliant writting

MON CHER !

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Lindsay said...

Amen to that! I completely feel the same way! Try being in high school (thank god I graduated) and mentioning something like that. My friends would roll their eyes, and probably think in their minds "their goes Lindsay, thinking her dated feministic thoughts." It takes a smart girl to see things like that in the world.

laura said...

Unfortunately, many women today feel (and they may not be too far off base) that the only power they have in our patriarchal society is to sway men with sexual activity. I agree that far too much energy is put into physicality rather than personality or brains.

Great post!

One Womans Life said...

YOur post was interesting and honest. Thanks for posting it. At 55 I am now well over the hillas it pertains to the bar scene but was an active part of women's rights movement in Canada. I am more than dismayed by some of what has resulted. I feel that man women have taken their new found freedom to emulate men and their antics rather than to assert the wonderful and powerful attributes of womanhood. Maybe its just the swing of the pendulum but I sure wish it would find middle ground soon!

Diane M. said...

I agree with Laura- sex has become the one thing young women can hold over men. We all want an attractive mate, and girls thing that if they can just be pretty enough, just get enough attention, they will find a person who will fill that void.

Unfortunately, media does not portray healthy relationships well (after all, how boring would two hours in the life of a good relationship be? Not great reality TV.) And with the divorce rate so high a lot of parents don't take the time (or don't know how) to teach good relationship skills to their kids. Things like "you won't always be madly in love with him every single second of every single day" and "sometimes you WILL have to compromise" don't get enough play for our kids to internalize them.

So what do the children do? They go out and mimic the surface behavior of mating rituals without any understanding of the emotional side. I agree with Mr Grim that speed is emphasized in our culture now, so important things get skipped or lost or ignored.

Hopefully I'm making sense. I'm not against folks going out and having a good time, as long they realize clubs are not the place for long term relationship hunts.

BLOG RÁDIO said...

O Amor é sempre bem vindo e suas postagens são de temas riquissimos, gostei, parabéns pelo ótimo blog.

Khurram Shahzad said...

A thought worth forwarding and spreading..A women is a symbol of purety, love, affection, spirituality, sincerity, honesty and a gift of heaven...Not a show piece to be placed in the world's markets...Appreciating and encouraging you to write further on this...Blessings!

Bhavna said...

I was just browsing through different blogs, yours is truly different.....I love the way you write it ...will surely come back for more

Lauren Brie Hofeling said...

The sad thing is, Girls WANT to be accepted. And even worse thing is that they think that THEY are the ones who have to please the guys in order to get "LOVE". When girls do this, leave behind their morals just for a lousy guy who already thinks of them as sex objects?!! NO!!
Not to be sexist but, I strongly believe its the other way around. Guys should be trying to impress the girls. Guys should be the ones that make that effort to be a good guy.. A guy that any girl wants, to treat her right, make her feel good about herself with just the way she is.
Just like that commercial on TV about being above the influence; A REAL TEEN COUPLE eating breakfast together, going shopping, hanging out in good moral ways. Thats what true love is, not this thing the world accepts that doing right is wrong and doing wrong is right.
And for ANYONE who is looking for a REAL RELATIONSHIP, I think has a chance of finding one else where other than a club or bar.. Thats the WORST place to be lookin' if you want something real.. In my own opinion. People there just wanna get laid. N the other people don't know where else to go for relationships. maybe CHURCH? lol who knows.

Girl Next Door said...

I completely agree with everything you have said. I ask myself the same question often, does no one believe in love anymore? It feels like we live in the age of the clones. Thanks to all the media exposure and preaching about the 'ideal man/woman', everyone I see around me is gradually turning into a clone of the one ideal touted by Lord alone knows who. We no longer wonder or think for ourselves, preferring to blindly believe all that is dictated to us. We don't really engage with other people as individuals, but as mere manifestations of our ideas.

Lucy said...

I know there are plenty of people who believe in love. They do fall short in numbers of those who are full of themselves and are looking for a hot new ticket to mirror themselves. The bar is a great place to people watch, but not a place to meet THAT interesting someone.

To find love, I recommend to go do what you love. Be with the ones you love to be around. Friends, family or even all alone. Get to know your self. LOVE yourself and then that's when the magic happens. You begin to attract the same like minded man or woman that also loves themselves. This it key because then each of you are much more likely to BE interesting, and also want to get to know another interesting person.

The energy you put out there attract the like energy. Be the person you know that the one you like to attract would like. It isn't about conforming to what society thinks is the perfect attractive person. It's about being true to yourself and really truly liking yourself. The rest falls in place. And you'll have much more fun while your hanging out waiting for that special someone to fall in love with you.

Love does exist, especially for a warrior princess. If your on the path to find love, embody love in all you do. Live with passion and passion will find you.

I have been there on both sides of this issue. I've had some horrible dates, and some disappointing ones. I'm recently divorced and I really took some time to just be with myself, my friends and do what I liked to do. In the mean time, I journaled and wrote a list of all the qualities I'd like in a man. (Something Oprah claimed would work to help find the ONE) I was very specific and I also made a few drawings to outline the life I wanted. I put it away and didn't think about it. But the idea is that you are putting it out there in the universe and it helps to manifest what we desire.

To put this long story short... I was at my climbing gym (a new sport that I loved) and a guy turned to me and we struck up a conversation. It turned out we had a few things in common and we decided to partner up on climbing. A few weeks later, he asked me out and I thought, hum, maybe as I wasn't really ready to date, but I said sure. You never know and saying yes give the opportunity to find out more about someone even if you wouldn't have picked them out of a crowd as the one. We'll months later and we're in love, head over heels in love. He's the one I wrote about on paper and he's for real. Everything I could wish for in a man. A year later, we've traveled to France to climb the alps and we're now moving to Colorado to pursue more adventures.

So please everyone, don't give up on love. Give it a try. Get to know your self. Love yourself and make your life what you want and you will be attractive to your hearts desire.

Lucy said...

I know there are plenty of people who believe in love. They do fall short in numbers of those who are full of themselves and are looking for a hot new ticket to mirror themselves. The bar is a great place to people watch, but not a place to meet THAT interesting someone.

To find love, I recommend to go do what you love. Be with the ones you love to be around. Friends, family or even all alone. Get to know your self. LOVE yourself and then that's when the magic happens. You begin to attract the same like minded man or woman that also loves themselves. This it key because then each of you are much more likely to BE interesting, and also want to get to know another interesting person.

The energy you put out there attract the like energy. Be the person you know that the one you like to attract would like. It isn't about conforming to what society thinks is the perfect attractive person. It's about being true to yourself and really truly liking yourself. The rest falls in place. And you'll have much more fun while your hanging out waiting for that special someone to fall in love with you.

Love does exist, especially for a warrior princess. If your on the path to find love, embody love in all you do. Live with passion and passion will find you.

Lucy said...

I have been there on both sides of this issue. I've had some horrible dates, and some disappointing ones. I'm recently divorced and I really took some time to just be with myself, my friends and do what I liked to do. In the mean time, I journaled and wrote a list of all the qualities I'd like in a man. (Something Oprah claimed would work to help find the ONE) I was very specific and I also made a few drawings to outline the life I wanted. I put it away and didn't think about it. But the idea is that you are putting it out there in the universe and it helps to manifest what we desire.

To put this long story short... I was at my climbing gym (a new sport that I loved) and a guy turned to me and we struck up a conversation. It turned out we had a few things in common and we decided to partner up on climbing. A few weeks later, he asked me out and I thought, hum, maybe as I wasn't really ready to date, but I said sure. You never know and saying yes give the opportunity to find out more about someone even if you wouldn't have picked them out of a crowd as the one. We'll months later and we're in love, head over heels in love. He's the one I wrote about on paper and he's for real. Everything I could wish for in a man. A year later, we've traveled to France to climb the alps and we're now moving to Colorado to pursue more adventures.

So please everyone, don't give up on love. Give it a try. Get to know your self. Love yourself and make your life what you want and you will be attractive to your hearts desire.

confessions of a lovesick wannabe said...

You have officially just made my day. I have this weird problem...i love chatting for simply the sake of talking, getting back to the problem. I like interesting conversation and as a direct result of your theses there is a vicious circle going and quite frankly spinning out of control. let me explain myself I'm attractive and acceptably sexy BUT behold i have the one thing that would scare men off Megan Fox. I HAVE A BRAIN. My point is that I'm considered COOL as long as they don't find me attractive, because only brainless, blond, busty bimbos are attractive.
When are people(both men and women) going to see that funny can be sexy, smart can be sexy, and witty and kind and well you get the picture.

Evan said...

I just now randomly found your blog. This is a great post. Yes ... the media. The media is ruining a lot of things. My usual complaint about the media relates to popular music.

sigh ... for once I'd like to meet a girl with small breasts, long pants, and something to say. With an opinion. I know she's out there somewhere ...

franky said...

Very interesting. I had seen it many times yet not felt the urge to blog on it. When you blogged, it made interesting reading.
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AnnaYohonson said...

ah yes. well the bars are certainly the place to find most of those types of girls. They arent the ones who dress crazy out there for personal style's sake, they do it for the attention of others. While some women may say they dress that way because they ARE strong women so they can wear what they want, it takes a lot of self confidence to dress that way for yourself. Mostly media is to blame for this and those stupid movie scenes we all see of bars where every single woman in that bar is dressed asking for a one night stand. The sad thing is, those girls who look like that are sometimes not looking to be a one night stand they just want someones attention. Girls no longer learn self confidence and self reflection from the media and school anymore. It's all drugs sex and shows of people getting into fights.

The Poetic Assassin said...

Your post is very interesting.

Young people these days have very little experience in life, they have thrown values and goals out the window.

And from the conclusion I've come too, it all about them. Me Me Me. Ego Ego Ego. People have forgotten about God, and forgetting about Him they forget about the soul.

they only understand how to feed their physical and don't know a thing about their spiritually needs.