I do hope the two of you haven't missed me too much...
I must confess that I have been being unfaithful to you - I've been writing a journal. The reason for my infidelity is sheer laziness I'm afraid - I can't be bothered to explain things anymore and worse still lack the enthusiasm for structure. I have taken to writing lots of random things down in no particular order and in this way hope to come up with some tit bits of genius (OK, genius may be pushing it, but at least something of some value). I seem to do this whilst thinking but never actually end up writing it down as I always forget it whilst I wonder about where that damn possessive apostrophe should go.
Still - other things have happened. I have decided that I need to start my own business because the world is full of cunts and I don't wish to be employed by one anymore. I'm sure that employing said cunts will be just as bad but at least (given that I have issued the correct amount of verbal warnings, written warnings and final warnings) I can sack the cunts!
I'm fed up of stupid men and even more stupid women - one of whom implied today whilst we were having lunch that my manager's obsession with me was purely my own doing as she had never had the problem with her managers. I didn't point out that fucking her, I would think, would be rather similar to fucking a corpse; because I'm too goddamn nice to say that kind of thing.
Another of my wonderful colleagues turned to me (after a particularly self deprecating witty quip from myself about my relationship status) and said 'no wonder you keep getting dumped'. Erm... yeah thanks for that - nothing like boosting someone's confidence is there?
Fuck the cunts! I have bought myself a copy of 'Good Small Business Guide: How to Start and Grow Your Own Business' and am eagerly awaiting its arrival. I just need to sort out my personal debt (achievable within 18 months), write a business plan, do the necessary research and grow balls of steel and I'll be set.
I will have a yacht by the time I'm forty!