I'm not really sure why not having a relationship seems to be taking up so much of my time and energy at the moment.
I'm happy. I have ambition - a goal. Something to work towards for me. Targets to hit (personal targets not targets set by my company). I'm working towards my freedom, my independence. This is the most fulfilled that I have ever felt because I'm laying the foundations of my life and I'm laying them in stone. I know that, unlike my mother, I will never need to be with someone - if I'm with them it will be because I want to be.
A man in my life at the moment (a full time one) would distract me from this. I've heard all that bollocks that people spout about it not being the case if you meet the right one... I don't believe it. In some way, to be with someone I would have to make some kind of compromise; have to change my dream in some way. I've done this in the past and it has always ended up with me compromising and ending up totally distracted from what I wanted and in a real pickle. Maybe one day there'll be someone that I'll be happy to be distracted by... Not today though.
If I'm going to get distracted again I want it to be by someone with whom I share a common goal, or someone who is happy to encourage me in achieving mine rather than tearing me down for wanting it. I want someone who equals my ambition, who has the same high standards as I do, who knows what the best bits of life are and how to appreciate them (that's about love not money).
Most of all I'd like to be with someone who considers my feelings as much as I consider theirs. Now then we'd have found treasure.
Until I find all that stuff I'm happy on my own.... So all you silly boys - stop trying to distract me!