Sunday 15 March 2009

What the fucking fuck?

"'Did anyone tell you my nickname? No? "Mr. Li".'
Luisa isn't sure what response is expected. 'A little context might help.'
'My first week on the job, I'm up in the canteen, fixing myself a coffee. This engineer comes up, tells me he's got a problem of a mechanical nature and asks if I can help. His buddies are sniggering in the background. I say, "I doubt it." The guy says, "Sure you can help," he wants me to oil his bolt and relieve the excess pressure on his nuts.'
'This engineer was how old? Thirteen?'
'Forty, married, two kids. So his buddies are snorting with laughter now. What would you do? Dash off some witty put-down line, let 'em know you're riled? Slap hi, get labeled hysterical? Besides, creeps like that enjoy being slapped. Do nothing? So any man on site can say shit like that to you with impunity?'
'An official complaint?'
'Prove that women run to senior men when the going gets tough?'
'So what did you do?'
'Had him transferred to our Kansas plant. Middle of nowhere, middle of January. I pity his wife, buy she married him. Word gets round, I get dubbed "Mr. Li". A real woman wouldn't have treated the poor guy so cruelly, no, a real woman would've taken his jokes as a compliment.'"

I read that and recognised it as something that me and my friends have come up against time and time again. There have been a couple of things recently that have reminded me that although we lovely ladies have come a long way in our professional lives; it's not a level playing field yet.

One of my colleagues was asked by the management to infiltrate a company that they were looking into purchasing. The idea was that this guy should hang out with them, get to know them socially a bit, report back on the dynamics and who had which role and how the various pieces fit together. This company is mostly made up of guys but there is one woman who is not fantastic looking but is, by all accounts, a bit of a flirt.

My company has now bought a stake in this new one; my colleague has been commended in his efforts and for being a 'spy in their camp' (not my words - my MD's). After the sale had gone through I had a text from my MD saying that my colleague had slept with the girl at this company as part of his 'infiltration'.

I've never seen sex for favours as a good idea. There's something sleazy about it. Definitely something distasteful about 'trading' sex for pretty much anything in my opinion (slightly different if it's in a loving relationship of course). I just think that you should treat sharing your body with someone with some sensitivity and respect.

The thing that really annoyed me about this is that when I questioned my MD on whether he thought this was an appropriate way for an employee to behave when 'on duty', as it were, he said 'well I think she's a bit of a flirt'. Err.. Right, yeah so it's her fault then... Right, OK.

If that'd been me I would've not only lost the respect of all the people in that new company, and my MD but also would probably have been hauled over the coals by my mates as well with warning of the aforementioned happening. I (still) don't get why the reaction to a male colleague doing this is 'good lad!' and yet for a female it's completely different. I think the workplace is where this is most apparent.

3 comments:

Newbie said...

Double standards are alive and well and living all over this country. Booooooooo.

The Girl with a One Track raised an interesting issue about the habit of some men about commenting on your food choices - have a read - it'a a bit contradictory in places but interesting nonetheless.

Love you too my gorgeous girly
xx

Mr Grim said...

Is it just me, or am I wrong in thinking some laws have been tweaked in the breaking direction whith this whole infiltration thing? Also, given how some guys love to brag, I suppose it's quite possable he didn't sleep with the girl n just made up some bullshit to make him self look better in the MD's eyes. Personally I think thats worse, but only very slightly just. I hope he gets gonorrhea. It's the gift that just keeps giving and I'm sure the MD will prase his time off in the STI clinic. :)

Newbie said...

Hee! I'm with Mr Grim on the gonorrhea. Keeps on giving. Hee!!